It's amazing how a fictional story can draw people in and get them so excited about what happens next, and then when it's over, leave them craving more. I wish I had the talent to write something like that. How cool would it be to know that you created a world like that that so many people are obsessed with?
I know they're just books and they aren't real, but I always feel like my life is so boring after reading stories like Harry Potter and Twilight, and it doesn't even have to be books all the time -- some TV shows make me feel that way too. It sounds stupid, but I think that reading some of these books has changed my outlook on life. After I finished the Twilight series I decided that I wanted to do things in my life to make it more interesting and fun, to make me feel in some ways like a character in one of those books. I'm always looking for things to learn or do that will make me different from other people.
For example, this semester, my roommate has every season of Xena Warrior Princess on DVD. I have always loved that show, so I watched the entire series throughout the first half of the semester. When I get hooked on a TV show, I literally become obsessed with it. Watching Xena makes me want to learn how to fight someone! I think it would be so awesome to learn how to defend myself, and beat people up if I felt like it. Anyway, when Halloween came up, I decided that I wanted to be Xena. I've never been able to make a really cool costume before - usually when I have an idea, it turns out not looking anything like the person I was trying to look like. But this year, I was so inspired to try something new and go all out for it. So I made a Xena costume. I never thought that I would be able to pull it off, but it was actually a pretty good costume. I ended up making my own pattern for a corset top and sewing it together all by myself (with the aid of my mom's sewing machine). I have always thought it would be neat to make my own clothes, but I never thought I'd actually do it. Now, after making my costume, I really want to experiment and try to make something else that I can wear that is unique.
I also think it would be awesome to take acting classes! I've secretly always wanted to be a movie star. I know, you'd think that if I always wanted to do something like that then why didn't I take drama instead of band? The answer is, I don't know! I was so shy in school growing up. Not exactly one of the popular kids. I don't think it's been until recently in my life that I have realized that I can be fun and creative and a truly cool person.
I've got so many ideas and things that I want to do. This summer, after contemplating how Harry Potter and Twilight have had such an impact in my life, I started wondering why I can't write something like too. I think it would feel so awesome to write something, and then have someone like me read it and be swept away in a fantasy world and come out of it wanting to lead a more interesting life, and then actually doing something about it. So, I started writing a book! I do hope to finish it some day...it just might not be this year. I do need to finish school and get a job to start making money soon. But one day, I will finish my book and hopefully get it published.
My point is that I want to be unique. I want to be different from the average person. I don't want to be defined by my day job; I want to be defined by the things I do in my spare time. And hopefully, I'll be able to impact other people with my life.
Isn't God so awesome that he has given us all these lives to live out on Earth before we die? That's another thing I've thought about recently. Lately, I feel like all I've been thinking about is myself. What am I going to do when I graduate in a few weeks, what if I don't get a job, what's going to happen with me and Cody, when am I going to save up enough money to buy a Camero, what am I going to get for Christmas?
Last week, Cody introduced me to a girl that went on the medical mission trip to India with him. She is probably one of the most Godly people I've met in a long time. She and some other of her friends came over to Cody's house for a little get together, and just listening to the way she talks to people struck me. She mentioned God's love or God's plan more times than I think about those things in five minutes than probably crosses my mind in five days. She didn't even know me, but she made me feel comfortable and at ease, and it was so easy to talk to her and get to know her. That has got to be a gift given to her from God.
So after meeting her, I started thinking more about my relationship with God. I found myself wondering why it's so hard for me to talk about God's plan to my friends. I haven't had the best church attendance since I've gone to A&M. I know you're supposed to have quiet times and study God's word, but it's just hard for me for some reason. A few weeks ago, at Grace Bible Church, they were talking about global missions. A missionary gave a short message where he made the point that he often doesn't like the attitude of people here in the "Bible Belt." His point was that most of the people in the United States already know about God. They have all read the Bible, and know what it should mean to be a 'Godly' person. But when he is in a foreign country where they haven't read the Bible, and have no desire to read the Bible, they look to him to find out what it means to be a Godly person. The point was that we can't just say we're Christians because we read the Bible and study it. We have to live out our lives according to what is written in the Bible.
I think that's been my problem. I think I've felt like I haven't been reading and studying God's word enough so there's no point in trying to minister to other people because I don't know it well enough myself. But I think that I couldn't be further from the truth. Being a Christian and believing in God isn't just about reading His word and knowing what it says. It's also about the way we live our lives, and whether or not we try to live and do things to give God glory.
I shouldn't let opportunities to talk about God to someone pass by just because I don't feel like I'm good enough to talk about Him. Like the pastor always says, we're all pastors. We can all teach others about God's message no matter who we are or what kind of training we've had.
So back to my point from earlier. I want the things I do in my life to have an impact on people. I want to inspire people to search for the meaning in their lives and to be happier people because of it. I hope that God will help me to be a happier person in general so that I can do things that will bring him glory. I just want something about my life to be worthwhile.
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